12-Step Torah-- Parashat Ki Teitzei
 
Circumstances do not make us who we are, they reveal to us who we are. 
In life attitude is everything. We all go through difficult times or find ourselves in difficult situations in which we are faced with hard choices. How we respond and the decisions we make during those difficult times and situations exposes much about our character.    
This week’s Torah portion Ki Teitzei records a long list of laws pertaining to a variety of settings and situations that include family relationships, work, sexuality, and daily living. In one example, the Torah instructs,
כִּי־תִֽהְיֶ֨יןָ לְאִ֜ישׁ שְׁתֵּ֣י נָשִׁ֗ים הָֽאַחַ֤ת אֲהוּבָה֙ וְהָֽאַחַ֣ת שְׂנוּאָ֔ה וְיָֽלְדוּ־ל֣וֹ בָנִ֔ים הָֽאֲהוּבָ֖ה וְהַשְּׂנוּאָ֑ה וְהָיָ֛ה הַבֵּ֥ן הַבְּכֹ֖ר לַשְּׂנִיאָֽה: וְהָיָ֗ה בְּיוֹם֙ הַנְחִיל֣וֹ אֶת־בָּנָ֔יו אֵ֥ת אֲשֶׁר־יִֽהְיֶ֖ה ל֑וֹ לֹ֣א יוּכַ֗ל לְבַכֵּר֙ אֶת־בֶּן־הָ֣אֲהוּבָ֔ה עַל־פְּנֵ֥י בֶן־הַשְּׂנוּאָ֖ה הַבְּכֹֽר:
If a man has two wives, one loved and the other unloved and both have borne him sons, he is not allowed to treat the son of the unloved wife who happens to be the older son, with disdain.  He must give him what is rightfully his as the first born son. (Deut. 21:15-16) 
 
If a father favors his younger son over his older son, he is confronted with a difficult decision when it comes to the rights of that older son --give him what is rightfully his or deny him what is rightfully his.  Whatever decision the father makes will have nothing to do with the circumstance in which he finds himself but will instead reveal much about the father’s character. Circumstances do not make us who we are they reveal to us who we are.
 
 
 

The 12-step slogan If God seems further away, who moved? refers to times in our lives when we feel distant from God. Overcome by that feeling of detachment, we might have a tendency to believe it is God who has moved away from us. But this is not the case. God hasn’t gone anywhere. It is instead we who through our thoughts and our actions have moved further away from God. 

In this week’s Torah portion Ekev, Moses warns the Israelites about becoming complacent, that it is possible that after settling in Canaan they will grow distant from God and so forget about God and following God’s laws. 

Once they are no longer wandering the desert and are enjoying a certain amount of prosperity the Israelites may begin to feel a bit high and mighty and so put God out of their mind. They may come to believe כֹּחִי וְעֹצֶם יָדִי עָשָׂה לִי אֶת־הַחַיִל הַזֶּֽה – My own power and the might of my own hand have won wealth for me (Deut. 8:17.) 

Their distance from God will be their own choice for if God seems far away, it is surely not God who moved.
Shabbat Shalom!
Ellie

This Shabbat we begin reading from the book of Deuteronomy, the last book in the Torah.  The beginning of Deuteronomy also coincides with the conclusion of a three-week period of mourning that began on the 17th of Tammuz, a fast marking the day when the walls of Jerusalem were breached by the Romans in 69CE.   Before this period of mourning comes to an end, we will come together as a community to observe Tisha B’av, the 9th of Av.  Tisha B’Av commemorates the destruction of the two Temples as well as a number of other tragedies in the history of the Jewish people, including the expulsion from Spain in 1492.  We come together to express our grief by chanting from the book of Lamentations (Eicha), a set of dirges that describe Jerusalem under siege and the destruction of the First Temple.

In conjunction with Tisha B’Av, this Shabbat morning we will read a special haftorah, the third haftorah of admonition, marking the Shabbat leading up to Tisha B’Av.  The content of this haftorah is linked to the Book of Lamentations in its depiction of the destruction and devastation of Jerusalem. Called Shabbat Hazon, the Sabbath of Vision, there is an extraordinary link between this week’s Haftorah and Torah portions and the Book of Lamentations itself.  That link is found through one word --Eicha-- How?  This word is found in all three texts:

 אֵיכָ֥ה אֶשָּׂ֖א לְבַדִּ֑י Eicha esa l’vadi --How can I bear the burden alone? (Deut. 1:12)
 אֵיכָה֙ הָֽיְתָ֣ה לְזוֹנָ֔ה Eicha haitah l’zonah--Alas, the city has become a harlot (Isaiah 1:21)
אֵיכָ֣ה ׀ יָשְׁבָ֣ה  yashvah vadad--How does she (Jerusalem) dwell alone? (Lamentations 1:1)

The word eicha isn’t just a question it’s a lament.  In this week’s Torah portion Moses asks how it happened that he has to bear the burden of leading the Israelites alone.  In the haftorah, the prophet Isaiah laments that the faithful city of Jerusalem, a city filled with justice, has become a harlot.  In the book of Lamentations, the prophet Jeremiah wails how Jerusalem, a city once occupied with Jews, is now desolate and empty of its former inhabitants. 

As this period of mourning in Jewish history comes to a close, our country is entering its own period of mourning and wailing-- yet another period of pain and sadness.  Eicha, how did this happen God? How did it happen that we have yet again witnessed such levels of violence and hatred in our own country, this time in the cities of El Paso and Dayton?  We cry out, Eicha God -- How God? as the wailing continues and the cries pierce our ears.
As with previous tragedies, this week’s sorrow brings with it another question, another lament.  Matai God, when God, when will it stop? While the answer to this question continues to allude us, let us all make sure we work for the day when our cries are no longer in vain.

Shabbat Shalom, 
Ellie